He says he loves you, he is everywhere you go, even when you
don’t want him to be. Is it love or obsession? She says she adores you, she is
constantly calling you, in fact, she calls you every hour, even consistently
calling during the time you have scheduled for sleep. Is that love, or
obsession?
The line between love and obsession is sometimes crossed in
our relationships before we realize it’s happening. How do we know when it’s
love, or obsession that is portrayed in our relationships? When does someone go over the boundary
between genuine love and obsession?
People who are the
focus of an obsession sometimes have their love, livelihood and even their
lives threatened by those who obsess about them. Obsession is destructive and
the family and friends of the couple sometimes share in the devastation that
accompanies this type of relationship.
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Persons who are prone to becoming obsessed often do not know
that they are not truly in love. They may focus entirely on the looks of the
person who has caught their attention, often ignoring areas of incompatibility.
They may begin to construct unrealistic fantasies about the person who they are
interested in.
They start to exhibit a wide range of controlling behaviors.
Some persons who are obsessed monitor every move their partner makes,
physically or electronically.
When the other party ends the relationship, a person who is
obsessed may become violent. Suicide or murder-suicide is sometimes the result
of an obsession.
Persons who realize that they are obsessed and want to break
an obsession with someone can help themselves by forming supportive
relationships outside of the relationship. The temptation may be there to keep
away from friends and family but this does not facilitate your goal of moving
on from the relationship. Meeting new friends and getting involved in new
activities helps.
Leaving a relationship with an obsessive person is the best
thing to do. Staying in a relationship with an obsessive person is bad for your
self esteem. If you are involved with an obsessive person and want to break
free, it may not always be wise to let them know you are planning to leave the
relationship. Getting legal help may be necessary.
